For many, the last two-plus years have felt like trying to navigate through a nightmare, or some version of the Twilight Zone, where all of their deepest insecurities were glaringly impossible to run from. Throughout the pandemic, just about everyone has gone through one experience or another that felt like the ground was pulled out from underneath them.

By today’s standards, most people think safe = boring. But when it comes to relationships, this couldn't be further from the truth…

Safety, in this sense, doesn’t mean bland. It means setting the space and allowing for healthy communication and freedom of expression within the relationship.

One steps forward, the other steps back. One explodes outward, leaving everything on the table, the other shuts down and pulls everything inward. These are the makings of what I call the anxious-avoidant dance.
As adults, we all have what’s called an attachment style. While different people may bring out different sides of us, we tend to be either anxious, avoidant, or secure.

As humans, since the day of our birth, we are wired for connection.
As children, we rely on our caregivers for this connection. If our parents aren’t able to give us the love, affection, or means we need to feel safe in this world, we will adapt by choosing other ways of behaving to hopefully receive the feeling of connection we need.

Let me start off with an unpopular opinion: It’s time to try something other than a New Year’s resolution. Perhaps we abandon this ideology altogether (I warned you it would be unpopular). Before you tune me out, just hear me out…