It’s the month of celebrations with all of the different holidays that are awaiting us. Even the songs on the radio tell us that it’s “the most wonderful time of the year!” However, for many people, the holiday season can bring on anxiety and depression. Why? For a newly single person, it can mean days spent answering unwanted questions

For many, the last two-plus years have felt like trying to navigate through a nightmare, or some version of the Twilight Zone, where all of their deepest insecurities were glaringly impossible to run from. Throughout the pandemic, just about everyone has gone through one experience or another that felt like the ground was pulled out from underneath them.

Has anyone ever told you your anxiety or stress is “all in your head?” If you’ve heard this before, it probably bothered you. And rightfully so! Because it’s just not true…

Stress, trauma, and anxiety all impact your nervous system… Which expands from your brain throughout your entire body.

By today’s standards, most people think safe = boring. But when it comes to relationships, this couldn't be further from the truth…

Safety, in this sense, doesn’t mean bland. It means setting the space and allowing for healthy communication and freedom of expression within the relationship.

When we enter a relationship, there’s an energetic dance that begins. Whether it’s our different attachment styles, triggers, or beliefs, there’s a merging of two energetic entities at play.

When we share a space with someone, it makes sense that our beings intertwine more than just physically.

As humans, since the day of our birth, we are wired for connection.
As children, we rely on our caregivers for this connection. If our parents aren’t able to give us the love, affection, or means we need to feel safe in this world, we will adapt by choosing other ways of behaving to hopefully receive the feeling of connection we need.

As humans, we are all born with the potential to love everything and everyone equally and unconditionally. Ideally, we are also able to trust that everyone loves us in the same way. But, of course, life experience teaches us that this is not necessarily the case.

Let me start off with an unpopular opinion: It’s time to try something other than a New Year’s resolution. Perhaps we abandon this ideology altogether (I warned you it would be unpopular). Before you tune me out, just hear me out…

“Human being” is all about being present. When you’re hungry, eat. When you’re tired, sleep. Or when you’re with your partner, be with them fully.

While it may be easy to talk about, “human being” is no easy task… From our careers to our social lives, we humans have done a very good job of becoming busy bodies.

Think of your relationship as a dance... Whether it’s the flow of give and take, leaning on and being leaned on, or navigating through troubled times, no relationship stays the same forever or is without its bumps and changes. So, when we approach topics like codependency, it’s important to note that no relationship is conflict-free. But, there is a difference between a normal relationship speed bump and a red flag.

They give you the silent treatment for days without any reason why, then show up unannounced at your door with flowers. They berate you with insults and meanness, only to end the conversation with a sudden moment of kindness. While this may sound like the chemistry-ridden ebb and flow of an exciting relationship, it’s not… It’s actually what leads to “trauma bonding.”

Do you often feel alone on an island in your relationship? Do you find you’re the only one contributing or even feel like you can’t resolve anything with your partner because they shut you down? It’s time to get curious about your relationship… because it may be a toxic one.